


To My Brother Who's Getting Married,

by truejaku (hereonourstreet)



Category: DRAMAtical Murder, DRAMAtical Murder (Visual Novel), DRAMAtical Murder - All Media Types
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Brotherly Affection, Brotherly Love, Gen, Implied/Referenced Sexual Assault, Letters, M/M, Marriage
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-22
Updated: 2016-01-22
Packaged: 2018-05-15 13:03:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 909
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5786215
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hereonourstreet/pseuds/truejaku
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A letter to my big brother on his wedding day. A letter from his baby brother, who is the only person who calls him Wilhelm and is a little possessive over that. A letter about how I saw you once when you didn't see me and now we see each other every day. A letter about how I was embarrassing when I was little but I'm grown now and I'll always be a baby to you and that's fine by me.</p>
            </blockquote>





	To My Brother Who's Getting Married,

            I have to write you this letter because there are a few things I need you to know before I lose you.

            Coming to find you wasn’t difficult. Mom and Dad thought that I was their golden child but they never treated me like one. For all their feigned interest in every single thing I do, they don’t really care about me. Dad told me to get a ticket to Tokyo, and I don’t know, maybe he planned it. Maybe he knew I knew. But I don’t think he did. I don’t think he knew I’d heard of this island called Midorijima. I don’t think he knew I’d researched it. I don’t think he knew I knew every rule and regulation of this Rhyme game. I don’t think he suspected I’d come to find you, but I did.

            I didn’t really have a plan. I didn’t know if I was going to stay or leave. I didn’t know if you’d be happy to see me. It had been a few years. All I knew was that when the business meetings were over in Tokyo, I was going to come find you. I was only sixteen and he thought that would be a good thing. A sixteen-year-old, coming to Tokyo and getting around on his own was a good sign that I could handle the responsibility of a multimillion-dollar business. People would look at me and think, _“Well there goes one very intelligent young man. He flew here on his own, got around on his own, found our building and is now conducting business like an adult.”_ I did. I did exactly what Dad wanted me to do. I conducted his business like an adult, and then I took an extra day to tend to my own business, the business that he took away from me when I was just a child.

            The first time I saw you again, you were being shoved up against a wall. You had blood on your lips and it was very little comfort to me knowing that you couldn’t have felt whatever put it there.

            The man who was assaulting you pushed you to your knees and then I heard a zipper and I ran away.

            I’m sorry. I don’t know why I didn’t save you. You didn’t look like the brother I remembered, but you were. You were and always will be my brother. I should have helped you.

            I was too scared to find you again. I was going to go home. I was going to go home and go back to therapy and try to forget what I’d seen happen to you. It was Dad’s fault. You wouldn’t have been in that position if you hadn’t had to run away. Everything is Mom and Dad’s fault. But this was on me. I’m sorry that I didn’t save you.

            I had my suitcase with me when I saw you again.

            I was on my way to the airport. It was the next day and you were in the same clothes as the day before. You were sitting with your legs crossed on a park bench, staring at your laptop screens projected in front of you. I think you were coding something. You were picking at the skin on your lips. You were in your own little world and you seemed so empty.

            I couldn’t bring myself to think that maybe that was because you missed me. That was a delusion of grandeur; a hopeful wish that maybe you cared about me as much as I cared about you.

            If I had known then what I know now, I would have approached you.

            If I had known you thought about your little brother every day, except the days that it was too hard to remember me, I would have thrown my arms around you then and never let go.

            But you’re getting married now.

            And you told me you never thought this would really happen to you; that you never saw too far into your own future because you didn’t really care if you had one or not. But you’re going to walk down an aisle tomorrow and I know you’re not exactly monogamous because you like to over share, you pervert. But I know you’re in love and I’m proud to be your best man. Because you were always the best brother.

            You never knew this, but until I realized what marriage was, I always told Mom and Dad I was going to marry you. They kept telling me that I couldn’t, and I would cry. I thought marriage was what you did when you found someone you didn’t want to lose. Back then, I would have considered you marrying someone else to be losing you. It’s so embarrassing now that we’re grown and I understand that I don’t want to marry you and your bad diet and tiny eyebrows, but I guess I still sort of do at the same time, because I want you in my life forever. You’re not supposed to have to marry your brother just to keep him in your life, but I lost you once and sometimes I’m terrified that might happen again.

            I don’t want to marry you. But last night you came into my room while I was on the computer and ruffled my hair so bad that it knotted and I had to cut it out.

            I’d like to do that again.

            Congratulations.


End file.
